Writer and Associate Professor at Philadelphia’s Temple University, Nyasha Junior asked 40-something women what advice they would tell their 20-year younger selves.

Thousands responded, and their words, born of experience, are reminders of what is essential to a happy life and what should be given up.

Scroll through the top 10 answers 40-something women provided to the question, “What advice would you give to your 20-something self?”

1. Get out the special occasion china and wear your party dress, “just because.”

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2. Tomorrow is a gift.

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3. No regrets.

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4. “Quit apologizing.”

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5. Be loyal, but be wise.

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6. Love yourself first.

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7. Don’t be afraid of aging.

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8. Be alone for awhile.

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9. So much, this.

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10. Be independent.

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What would you say to your younger self?